Crossroads

I am at an emotional crossroad today. I have come to realize that in my life I have never ventured outside the my little box, my comfort zone. Nursing school is all about doing things you have never done, while someone is watching you, and when you could potentially harm someone, talk about pressure. The stress is caving in on me today. I wonder if I am going to be able to continue on, or do I even want to. I am giving up so much to go to school, being with Jacob, with Jason, just having a normal life. I hate staying up all night the day before clinical writing a bunch of paperwork so you instructor can figuratively rip it apart. I feel like they expect us to know everything already, when in fact, we are there to learn. At this point I hate school, and I am terrified to go to clinical. On the way home I heard Kenny Loggins singing "This is it". It sure hit home. If I don't make a conscious decision to step out of my friggin box, I am going to fail. I need to grow up and act like a professional. Is it in me? What am I made of? I really don't know. School has been a process of getting to know myself...my deep inner self, the core, what I am made of. Self awareness is difficult, especially if you are not sure you like what you see.